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1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Survivor, Texas-Style
Network TV is reported to be developing a Texas version of "Survivor," the popular TV show.
Contestants must travel from Amarillo through Fort Worth, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio and back to Amarillo, through San Marcos and Lubbock. Each will be driving a Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads: "I voted for Kerry, I'm gay, and I'm here to take your guns."
The first contestant to complete the round trip is the winner.